Trip 2 - Day 4: Stuffed Emotions

I can't help but wonder when Hyun's emotions are going to fully come out.  I do believe part of his calm is an answer to prayer, but Ron and I both believe he is stuffing his emotions.  At times he gets this look on his face as if he is going to completely lose it, but then you can tell that he shoves the emotion way back down.  He avoids eye contact, his lip starts to stick out, and then he rubs his eyes and cheeks - he just sort of shakes it off.

He will at times tell us about "Omma" and "Ajussi" (which means uncle in Hangul, but is also what he called his foster mom's adult son), but overall he has stopped asking for his foster mom. 

I'll be honest, as much as I hated spending the money for the 2 trips to Korea with regard to the new adoption laws, I am thankful that the trips were split up.  Our first trip was filled with experiencing Korea; this trip is filled with bonding with our son.  I love getting to experience new cultures, so the first trip was unforgettable to me in that manner, and now I feel no obligation to do such things this trip. 

This is hard to say also because I have a real love for Korean culture and people, but taking Hyun out is a little difficult as well.  People have not been as friendly or helpful as they were our first trip, and the stares are in abundance.  We stood out when it was just the 3 of us, so we got stares before - but honestly this is different, and Ron and I have been a little more uncomfortable.  I don't know what it's like for someone of Korea to see a family from the US about to take one of their own across the borders... I try to put myself in their shoes.  What if I saw a family from Korea in America that couldn't speak English, toting around a Caucasian child who only spoke English?  At one point in my life, I think I would have asked myself - "why are they doing that to this child?"

I know what God has called us to at this time, and when I see the eternal purpose in what we are doing - it makes sense, but if I didn't have the eternal perspective - it seems so arrogant.  When Ron and I stare this child in the face, we consider his loss and grief - yet we also consider the seeds that are being planted and being watered by our Savior as we speak.  We are "cacha" - family, but not by the decree of the agencies or the government, but by decree of our Lord.  Many, many moons ago, this was brought about by Him - our Creator.

To our prayer warrior friends who are reading this post, we want to ask even more of you.  We learned today that Ron's aunt (his mom's twin sister) is not likely to live beyond our trip here.  Aunt Bobbie has been fighting cancer on and off for some time, but I don't think anyone suspected that she was at the end of this life.  With the birth of each boy in our family, we said goodbye to close family members.  With Reese, it was my grandmother.  With Elliot, it was my mom.  Now as we bring Hyun into our family, we are preparing to say goodbye to Aunt Bobbie.  We love this spunky, "never know what she's going to come up with next", fun-loving woman, and we struggle at times like this with being far away from family - especially as we celebrate the newness of life in our own family.  Please pray for Aunt Bobbie to peacefully rest now, for her family and especially Ron's mom.  God is faithful.

I know that is a somber note to end on, so I will share some pics below for you to enjoy.  Thank you so much for your love and care over our family.  

Nap time is very sweet

 

This video will put a smile on your face for sure - ABCs with Elmo