Acts of Kindness

The last 2 days have been big days in the life of mankind... okay, maybe not mankind, but they have been HUGE in the Wood household.

1. We made it to church!  Hyun was asleep when we arrived, so I was a little afraid of him waking up to hundreds of unknown faces.  But when he awoke, music was playing.  He saw people singing and hands raised, so he joined in.  After church was a fundraiser cookout, so we stuck around since he was doing so well, and, WOW, did he have a great time playing with everyone.  Crowds don't seem to bother him much I'm assuming because he is accustomed to the high population density in Seoul.
   
2. He rode in the jogging stroller! While in Korea, this boy would not even touch the stroller - which I thought was going to put a major damper on my exercise routine, but he jumped right in this morning and had a great time.  He was ticked off when it was over.

Outside of the "Hyun update" - I wanted to spend a few lines just telling of a few acts of kindness that people did that made our trip and our transition so much better.  We have been so blessed!

• Korean Air - Korean Air has amazing customer service!  On both the flight to and from Korea, they made changes so that our family could sit together because our tickets had to be booked separate from one another since we booked so last minute.
• Korean airport security - They allowed us to go through a separate line for families (even though we didn't completely qualify since Reese was >7 years old) - which helped us tremendously!
• Korean Immigration - The gentleman processing Hyun's paperwork actually got out of his booth in order to shake Hyun's hand and wish him well in America (this was an amazing moment!).
• Man in Korean subway system - Long story short, we were stuck and were about to miss our train to the airport - he stopped to help us by having us throw all our luggage and son to him over the turn style.  Yes, it was crazy.  We would have missed the train without him and probably our flight.
• Man on flight from Chicago to Tulsa  - This guy was so incredibly kind when he was trying to help with Hyun on the plane.  He could have said "can you please make that child be quiet", but instead he said, "what can I do to help?"... what a difference.
• Friends and Family - Can't say enough about all the love and support we continue to get.  The Duclos brought us Charlie's Chicken to the airport (Woohoo!!!), Cindy Wade got us home and fed us multiple times, the Sauter's brought us diapers to the airport so we wouldn't have to go shopping immediately, then more dinners from others, gifts for Reese and Hyun, and anonymous $20 donation from someone...

God is so good and has placed many friends and strangers in our lives to help us through this journey.  So thankful for how everyone is continuing to love on Reese during all this.  What a big change for him!

So grateful...

Happy to Be Home

Hello everyone! 

I apologize because I "went off the map" for several days during and after our trip.  We were exhausted and busy, so I had to put blogging on pause.  Also, sorry for the long post.

The day before our return trip home, was nerve racking because Hyun developed a bad case of diarrhea.  He seemed to feel fine - and we assumed it was because of a slight change in diet (I honestly think we fed him too much seaweed because he liked it so much). Praise God, it was cleared up by time to travel.

Our travel home was better than expected, but, just so you know - we had pretty low expectations :)!  Getting to the airport was quite an adventure that I won't get into, but I'm pretty sure I accidentally broke some Korean laws.  Now the story seems pretty funny, but it wasn't at the time.  Hyun slept a total of ~1hr on the 15hr flight to the US (10 minutes during the first hour of the flight and the remainder during the last hour of the flight).  He was good on the flight but was of course squirmy and active, so we walked around as much as possible.

Chicago was crazy!!!  Aside from the fact that we had an 8 hour layover, the line for immigration was many hours long.  Then we went straight from there to stand in another security line.  By the time we actually entered the airport, we had stood in line for ~3.5 hours.  It was hard on everyone.  The next 3 hours went by pretty quickly, but by hour 6.5 - Hyun was turning into a mess.  About 10 minutes before the plane was suppose to board, he threw himself down on the ground to throw a fit, and in mid-scream just fell asleep in the middle of the floor.

As we boarded the plane, I apologized as I walked to the very last seat on the plane saying, "Sorry if the baby wakes up." We knew it wouldn't be pretty.  They had Ron and I separated by 12 rows.  As soon as I sat down, the screaming bloody murder began.  The plane was slightly delayed in moving, but as soon as it started moving, he fell asleep... "Whew!"... or so we thought.  Just as the plane was about to take off, the pilots learned that there were issues at the Tulsa Airport, so we couldn't take off.  We headed back to the gate.  As soon as the plane stopped, Hyun woke back up.  He began screaming inconsolable for the next hour.  Thankfully, one guy helped us by supplying a phone that actually had power (both of our phones were dead at this point).  This definitely helped.

We had many friends greet us at the airport upon our return.  Wow.  I was so happy to be home, and see so many people who love us so unconditionally.  Thank you!

As for Hyun now...
He is doing very well.  He is sleeping fairly well and is eating great.  It seems that those 2 things must play a significant role in a good transition.  He doesn't "love" meeting new people, but it doesn't completely freak him out.  He continues to throw his fair share of tantrums.  Hard to say if this is part of the transition or if it is part of being 2 years old - probably both.

He is starting to mimic a lot of our words.  He often calls me "mommy-get"... I think it's because when we say my name, it is usually said with the word "get" after it, such as "Let mommy get that for you".  Reese is the leader in teaching him new words - whatever Reese says, Hyun wants to say also.

Not sure what all to tell... we are in a fog right now.  We are so incredibly grateful.  I plan to continue posting things on this blog for a while, and I am going to make it a public blog now that the adoption is finalized - so you should now be able to sign up for an email if you'd like.  My posts will likely be very simple, but will try to include pics of the family. 

Enjoy some pictures of our first few days home...

Our last trip to Dunkin Donuts before leaving Korea.  Nothing like going to Korea to get an American food chain!  BTW, Hyun had no interest in the donuts.

Prayer together at the airport thanking God for our safe trip and for a healthy transition.

Even Reese's best bud - Carter - made it to the airport!

 

First Mexican food - quesadillas!  He kept saying "pizza".  Of course we added a side of kimchi.  Have you ever had kimchi with your Mexican food... yummy!

First American pancakes - Ron makes pancakes every Saturday morning, and they were a big hit with the boy.

First swim - we made it over to Jim and Cindy's today.

Hyun was holding onto me like glue... until Jim showed up.  Who doesn't love Jim?

 

 

Trip 2 - Day 6: Mostly Pics

After yesterday, we have intentionally had a very low key day, so not a lot to report.  I thought I'd use this update to just post a lot of pics from previous days.  Hope you enjoy!

Plane ride to Korea

I have collected small little fun things to give the boys throughout the plane rides to help keep them entertained.  This gift to Reese kept him and the flight attendants entertained :).

 

Waiting in the room at the agency for Hyun and his foster family to arrive - we look a little tired.

 

Omma, Ajussi, and Hyun just before change of custody.  Hyun wore his sunglasses because he called us "the people with glasses"... I guess that's what stood out the most from our previous time together!  We have heard that the foster parents are often "stand off-wish" at this meeting because of the grief they feel, but Mrs. Kang and her son were very engaging and kind during our short time together.  We know she was sad - I could see her out the window of the van as we drove away... she was crying and her son was consoling her.  Foster families are strong and courageous people, and we are so grateful for this family.

 

Hyun trying to ignore us at the War Memorial

Some of the cool tanks at the War Memorial

 

 

 

 

 

Trip 2 - Day 5: Noodles Rock!

If there is anything certain I can say about Hyun, it is that he LOVES noodles.  It doesn't matter if it is in the form of spaghetti, ramen, black noodles... whatever - he loves them.

 

 

 



We had contemplated going to Suwon to visit our friends and go to church with them - it is about an hour by train ride from here.  In the end, our gut was telling us that Hyun just wasn't ready - and I'm glad we followed that hunch.  Today, we ventured out to the Korean War Memorial, and, as always, Hyun was so happy to go (he loves going anywhere...).  The trip started out well, and he was hanging onto me like glue.  As we were venturing through a variety of cool tanks and ships, he was having a good time - then "it" happened. 

I honestly don't know what "it" was, but we walked into a small room that had some videos and other things set up, and he immediately started freaking out.  He couldn't get out of there fast enough.  He was banging on the doors telling me "lets go" in Hangul, so of course we left.  After that, he was extremely distant, wouldn't hold anyone's hand or allow us to hold him.  When we stopped for a snack shortly after that - he wouldn't share any of the snacks, and shortly thereafter he hit me in the face knocking off my glasses.  Even while having lunch, he was yelling at the waiter to give him more bread.

When we started into the adoption process and I considered things that may be difficult - this type of thing was it... there is something from the past embedded in his little mind, and when it is triggered, he doesn't know yet how to respond.  I don't know what exactly triggered the painful moment for him... was it a good memory or a bad memory? Was he scared?  Was it something we did or was it something in the room?  I don't know.  We will never know.  I praise God for patience for all of our family today - and Reese was dynamo and remained calm and consistent.  He never wavered or got angry at Hyun.  He is an amazing big brother.

While eating lunch, Reese was talking about how much Hyun will likely dislike riding in a car seat since he's never been in one.  He said, "it will be hard for him, so we need to start praying about it".  I had honestly not even considered praying about it - though it has been a worrisome thought in my mind multiple times!  Thank you, Reese for reminding me that God cares about all the details of our lives.

We did have a short time of worship, Bible reading and communion together this morning, and we celebrated Ron's first Father's Day with Hyun as a part of our family.  It was sweet.  I am so thankful to be a part of this family, this adventure, and to have a husband that loves the Lord and takes such good care of us.

Trip 2 - Day 4: Stuffed Emotions

I can't help but wonder when Hyun's emotions are going to fully come out.  I do believe part of his calm is an answer to prayer, but Ron and I both believe he is stuffing his emotions.  At times he gets this look on his face as if he is going to completely lose it, but then you can tell that he shoves the emotion way back down.  He avoids eye contact, his lip starts to stick out, and then he rubs his eyes and cheeks - he just sort of shakes it off.

He will at times tell us about "Omma" and "Ajussi" (which means uncle in Hangul, but is also what he called his foster mom's adult son), but overall he has stopped asking for his foster mom. 

I'll be honest, as much as I hated spending the money for the 2 trips to Korea with regard to the new adoption laws, I am thankful that the trips were split up.  Our first trip was filled with experiencing Korea; this trip is filled with bonding with our son.  I love getting to experience new cultures, so the first trip was unforgettable to me in that manner, and now I feel no obligation to do such things this trip. 

This is hard to say also because I have a real love for Korean culture and people, but taking Hyun out is a little difficult as well.  People have not been as friendly or helpful as they were our first trip, and the stares are in abundance.  We stood out when it was just the 3 of us, so we got stares before - but honestly this is different, and Ron and I have been a little more uncomfortable.  I don't know what it's like for someone of Korea to see a family from the US about to take one of their own across the borders... I try to put myself in their shoes.  What if I saw a family from Korea in America that couldn't speak English, toting around a Caucasian child who only spoke English?  At one point in my life, I think I would have asked myself - "why are they doing that to this child?"

I know what God has called us to at this time, and when I see the eternal purpose in what we are doing - it makes sense, but if I didn't have the eternal perspective - it seems so arrogant.  When Ron and I stare this child in the face, we consider his loss and grief - yet we also consider the seeds that are being planted and being watered by our Savior as we speak.  We are "cacha" - family, but not by the decree of the agencies or the government, but by decree of our Lord.  Many, many moons ago, this was brought about by Him - our Creator.

To our prayer warrior friends who are reading this post, we want to ask even more of you.  We learned today that Ron's aunt (his mom's twin sister) is not likely to live beyond our trip here.  Aunt Bobbie has been fighting cancer on and off for some time, but I don't think anyone suspected that she was at the end of this life.  With the birth of each boy in our family, we said goodbye to close family members.  With Reese, it was my grandmother.  With Elliot, it was my mom.  Now as we bring Hyun into our family, we are preparing to say goodbye to Aunt Bobbie.  We love this spunky, "never know what she's going to come up with next", fun-loving woman, and we struggle at times like this with being far away from family - especially as we celebrate the newness of life in our own family.  Please pray for Aunt Bobbie to peacefully rest now, for her family and especially Ron's mom.  God is faithful.

I know that is a somber note to end on, so I will share some pics below for you to enjoy.  Thank you so much for your love and care over our family.  

Nap time is very sweet

 

This video will put a smile on your face for sure - ABCs with Elmo

 

Trip 2 - Day 3: 1st Trip Out

Today has been incredibly uneventful... I am in awe of both my boys.

In general, Hyun continues to be amazingly calm and at peace with us.  He has especially taken to Ron (on many occasions we have been told or have read that adopted children will usually attach to one parent more than the other in the beginning) - though he is fine with Reese and I as well.  He calls Ron "Appa" - Hangul for Dad.  This shows that the foster family was engaging him with pictures of our family and telling him who we were.

Bed time was of course difficult last night.  We were EXHAUSTED, and Hyun's typical bedtime, according to his foster mom, is 11pm.  Around 11pm, he was still running around like it was the middle of the afternoon.  I had actually dozed off and Ron was trying to keep up with him.  When I awoke again, I couldn't believe he was still going at it - so I got up, played with him a little, held him tight and told him in Hangul, "We are family - Mommy, Appa, Reese and Hyun".  He just stopped squirming dead in his tracks, looked off into space for a few minutes, then just started crying his little heart out.

I am so thankful that he allows us to hug and console him.  I put him in my lap to hug and rock him, while Ron stroked his back and head.  He cried himself to sleep, and slept until 9am this morning.

Ron, Reese and I did not sleep until 9am :); we all woke up just before 5am.  This gave us 4 hours together until our newest family member awoke.

Today we ventured by train to Dongdaemun market in hopes to find some cheap toys since I didn't bring much for Hyun thinking some would be sent with him.  Hyun would have NOTHING at all to do with the stroller (he thought we were nuts!), so he walked most of the way and Ron carried him the remainder (I tried to help with the carrying, but it was all about Appa today).

We actually never found the Children's market in Dongdaemun, and it was too difficult to meander as we normally do.  But while we were out, we ran into an Italian restaurant.  It was amazing!  Hyun loved the spaghetti and was hilarious eating it.  He did very well on our trip today, and is now napping.

Hyun's personality is so interesting.  He's very strong willed when it comes to doing things himself - opening packages, getting dressed, brushing his teeth, etc.  He likes things tidy and neat.  Many times he would pick up toys, clean his hands and face and organize chairs in a certain order in our apartment, but like every 2 year old, he also likes to dump things out and make messes.  He seems to love physical affection and praise.

A few pics and videos below to share in our amazing journey...

This is Hyun drinking carbonated apple juice

 

Playing doctor with Reese and Daddy

 

 

MERS (middle eastern respiratory virus) is a very serious concern in Korea right now, so while on the train and in congested areas we need to wear masks.  I know it looks crazy to Americans, but this is common here (usually due to pollution but more so now due to the virus).

Eating a snack after returning from Dongdaemun

About 5 seconds after the picture taken above :).  This boy is tired.

 

Trip 2 - Day 2: Gotcha Day

1:30am - awake
2:00am - awake
2:30am - awake...

So it went last night for Ron, Reese and me.  By 4:30am, we couldn't take it any longer, so we just got up.

We had a great morning together before going to pick up Hyun at 10am.  We had several breakfasts :), including one at Dunkin Donuts.

When we arrived at Easter Social Welfare Services, we filled out some paperwork prior to Hyun arriving with his foster mom "omma" and her adult son.  I was so happy that he came with her because I didn't want her to be alone.  Hyun's omma is a widow, and Hyun is her first foster child.  She was so kind to bring many foods for Hyun - kimchi, jam, his favorite bread and a few others.  We also received his hanbock from his 1st year and a molding of his feet from the agency.  They also put many pictures together for us in which we haven't had a chance to meander through yet.



I thought we may also receive some items that comfort him such as his favorite toys, blanket or even some of his clothes, but we received a few clothing items and no toys.  Please do not take this as a complaint; it's just an observation.  Even though we didn't get any "stuff" for him, I am SO incredibly thankful for the food.  And it is official - the boy is still in diapers (something we were unsure about). :). I was almost giddy to change his diaper today - because I'm his mom, I should be changing his diaper!!!

Not sure I can adequately share in words regarding the transfer of custody - it's almost as if it seems unfair to tell everyone because it still seems to be a secret to him.  He didn't want omma to leave when she did, but they put us in a van and whisked us away.  He has been busy playing all day, and has several times said to me "go to omma" (by the way, I can't tell you how grateful I am that I learned some Hangul).  When I tell him no and that I'm sorry, he gives me a blank stare like he's going to cry but doesn't.

We came home for a few hours prior to traveling to the US Embassy (which is where we go to get his visa).  Many of you may know that the US government is having terrible issues with the visa processing system right now.  Everything is incredibly backed up, and we were told that the Embassy would be shutting down for 3 days while we are here... and we can't leave without the visa.  We were the only family there today doing adoption visa interviews, and the man who conducted our interview has also adopted 2 times.  He was so kind, and he said "Let me see what I can do about getting you the visa today."  So, are you ready for this amazing answer to prayer?  He handed us our visa within a few hours!!!  We already got the visa!!  I can't believe it.  That is what I call "God-sized!".

He is taking a nap right now, along with everyone else in my family.  We are wiped out. 

 

 

I really don't have many pictures today just because we've been so incredibly busy and because the US Embassy does not allow electronics in the building - and that is where we spent the majority of our day.  Things couldn't be going any better - though I assume that as nightfall comes, the reality of Hyun's new life will set in even deeper for him.  He will grieve.  We will grieve with him all while rejoicing over all that we know God has done, is doing and will continue to do.

Can't thank you all enough for the prayers and support.  It's an amazing journey we are on!


ps.  We bought real water today.  The vodka got dumped out :).

Trip 2: Day 1

We arrived in Korea right on time (4:15pm).  Despite one cancelled flight and a broken stroller - things were relatively uneventful - which is great.

We took the train to the apartment we are staying at, and found the place fairly easy.  Then we grabbed a bite to eat, and headed out to find a super market.  With the help of some very kind natives, we found one tucked away (things are packed in so tight, it's sometimes difficult to recognize when something is right next to you)!

So the funniest part of our trip so far... We bought several things at the grocery which included a very large bottle of water so that we can just keep filling up our water bottles.  Exhausted after arriving home, Ron was so glad to pour him a glass of water.  He took a big gulp, only to realize we had bought vodka instead.  He quickly spit it out in disbelief. :)

I can actually read the Korean word for water, but this was sitting right next to the water, and I was too tired to look that closely.  It was also in a very similar container - a clear plastic bottle.  The girls in the supermarket must have thought that we really like to get our drink on!

We take custody of Hyun tomorrow morning at 10am (8pm Wednesday night, central time).  I can't believe it.

Love you all and hope to post again soon.  It is time to hit the sack for sure.